Following the Rules


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Bunny's Mom whom we'll kindly call Pinochet has very strict rules regarding pretty much every aspect of her sons' lives. She basically attempts to control how they get dressed (no. really) what, and how they eat, and yes, how long they sleep. This sounds like a nomal concerned parent? Wait and see. I don't kid when I say that the hardest part about working for Dr. Doormat and Mrs. P is keeping in line with all the freaking rules. One of my least favorite rules is the rule that states. "Bunny must get up from his nap at two regardless of when he went to sleep." She leaves me notes, continually, reminding me of this fact. I may take one to scan it for disbelievers. Now, this rule doesn't sound so bad. Especially not considering the fact that his (attempted) bedtime is seven pm. However, the lack of any leniency whatsoever is what distresses me. 2:00 means 2:00. Not 2:05. (though I like to stretch those five minutes out. shhh.) Not 2:15. She went APESHIT on Dr. Doormat one day when he "undermined" her by allowing me to let Bunny sleep an extra fifteen minutes. Now, there are several problems with this rule but my biggest issue with this rule is the whole "regladless of when he went to sleep" part. I HATE that part. Mrs. P insists that we are always on time and on (her) schedule however she has no issues continually changing that schedule without notice so long as SHE'S the one making the changes. So, if she says she's going to be home with Bunny at noon and wants me to have lunch ready so I can get him down for his nap before one so he can get up by two, then by golly, I will have lunch ready to go a 11:55 sharp. However, Mrs. P is like clockwork in the sense that she is almost always never on time. That of course, doesn't preclude us from always having to be on time. It just means that we have to be on her time. So, when she gets home at a quarter to one with a cranky, hungry four year old who decides that he no longer wants pizza for dinner but mac and cheese the whole "up by two regarldess ..." rule should logically amend itself to her being late, correct? No. Absolutely not. I'm supposed to make up for the lost 45 minutes. And if he doesn't actually fall asleep until 1:49 can I give him an extra 15 mintues of sleep, so that he can have a total of 26 minutes of naptime? Hell, no! And when she asks why he's in such a foul mood and I tell her it's because she only allowed him 11 minutes to sleep and why the hell can't she loosen the fuck up? She comes to her senses and apologizes for being such an anal control-freak and offers me a raise in repentance ... right? Wrong. Instead I just mutter that he's tired and she nods and says something about an early bed time tonight as I ponder ways that I could grow, steal or buy marijuana to slip into her tea because I fear that that is the only way that she could ever relax.


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